It’s been almost 5 years and my bosses have yet to figure out I have no idea what I’m doing. Until now of course, since I’m posting a blog that anyone can access at will. But will they, that is the question. Should that sentence have a question mark? Doesn’t matter. You’ll quickly realize that my blogs read as if your parents are using voice to text. My dad is notorious for his off the wall profanity laced texts…
IE: “Hey just wanted to let you know that your mom and I are going out of town. I’m using voice text because I’m driving. Anyway, we’ll be gone this Fri, you motherf*cker, yeah I’d pull out and park in the f*ckin passing lane too asshat. Leave out that last sentence. This damn phone! Smart phone my ass! We’re going out of town, that’s it.”
It’s too bad voice to text doesn’t translate sound fx like movie subtitles. If it did, there would be a “loud thump” within that message. This loud thumb is a sound that usually follows anytime my pops is behind the wheel. Its the sound of his hand hitting the windshield as he flips off the driver in front of him. For whatever reason, he feels that his gesture has more impact if he hits the windshield and shows signs of “if I could push this bird through the window I would”. On family trips to grandmas for Thanksgiving my sister and I would witness this no less than 3 times in the 1 hour journey and laugh uncontrollably, which would piss my dad off to no end and force him to tell us how ridiculous we’re being. Yep, the guy who would punch the windshield to add an exclamation point to his middle finger salute would say we were being ridiculous. Oh the joys of the holiday season with family!